what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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