how can u be prego again
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
