I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
