is your mom at the bar?
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
