I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
