I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
