i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
