The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im six kinds of drunk right now
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
