every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
