dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
