ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
