I puked a lego.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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