a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
