Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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