guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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