Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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