it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
