at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
