Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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