is your mom at the bar?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
