do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
a search helicopter?!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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