Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
