next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
