im drinking this country out of the recession.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
