we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
third nipple confirmed
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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