apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
