Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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