oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize