Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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