It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
