sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
