I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
