I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
