Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
