Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
