she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
