Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
