omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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