Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
