i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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