sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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