I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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