i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
high people should be assigned attendants
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
