Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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