then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
