how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
