Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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