You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She even gives head with a lisp.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
