What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
