i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
