It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
