Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
