dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
